Just go ahead and Love Yourself
Now I know Justin Beiber didn't mean that in a positive way when he said it, but I'm telling you that lesson #4 is to love yourself. Love your life. Live your life.
Most women, including me, have or currently live in a cycle of self-criticism to the point of self-loathing. They think I wouldn't be single if I looked like this or acted like this. Maybe I should dumb down my accomplishments so I don't scare away men, or dress a little more provocatively to catch his eye. Please....don't do it.
Trust me I've had those thoughts. I thought maybe if I looked different, maybe if I were more outgoing. I would hate when people started listing my accomplishments in front of dude as a way of introducing me. I was told it was intimidating and somehow I let that seep into my psyche. I thought no man would truly appreciate my chocolatey skin in all its glory. All these negative thoughts about myself, turned into fear and envy. Fear of rejection and Envy for women I thought had qualities that I didn't possess and those who seemed to have an easier time in the relationship department than I was.
Recently, I've spent weeks crying on and off, dealing with immense self-doubt and self-esteem, wrestling with things I thought I'd laid to rest when I wrote Light Brights & Darkies. (If you haven't read my book, check it out under the books section of my site).
I'm certainly not where I was when it comes to embracing all of me. I love who I am now and what I look like, not necessarily because I'm soooo fabulous. I love myself because I realized an all powerful, all wise, good Father formed me and made every intricate detail of me, he accepts me, so how can I not accept myself?
Please don't rely on a man to make you feel beautiful, believe God's word first and foremost. It really doesn't matter if a guy tells me I'm not his type, I'm God's type, every day, all day. And that's enough.
And here's the really cool part....someday a man is gonna see you through the same lens as God and it will be a little slice of heaven, because when he tells you just how beautiful you actually are, you'll finally believe him.