Bloom Shai Bloom

After Christmas, I was so excited for the new year. Until New Years Eve actually came. I wish I could say that when the clock struck 12 on New Years Eve that I was super excited and hopeful. I should've been, cause everything was perfect. But as everyone screamed "Happy New Year!" around me I felt sad. I had no hopes for a good year. I was afraid about what the doctor would say when I go for my next appointment. I was angry that 2017 didn’t pan out the way I thought and not feeling enthusiastic about enduring another year of disappointment. I spent the first 4 days of the new year, wrestling with God. I was frustrated, discouraged, and really pessimistic. I had to confront myself. I had to confront that I’ve held myself back. I’ve wavered in faith a lot. One minute I believe God for his promises and the next I’m totally giving up cause I’m tired. I’ve let fear and insecurities keep me stagnant. I’ve been the queen of overthinking. And gosh, I’ve been so impatient and anxious. Every time God plants a seed that could grow to be a flower of trust, I dig it back up. Every time he’s planted me...I dig myself back up in doubt, fear, anxiety and insecurity. So this year I’m holding fast to the promises of God and to promise I’ve already been given...Jesus Christ himself. No more digging up seeds. I’m watching every thing that’s been planted bloom. #bloomshaibloom

#faith #trust

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