I'm not really sure how to start this blog to be honest. I've never thought I'd actually be writing about this. Singlehood. I planned on maybe writing about this once I was married and settled, but since it seems like I have no prospects in sight, I figured I'd do what I seem to do best: laugh at myself and hopefully get you to laugh at yourself too. Trust me, I know there's tough moments that really don't feel funny. There's loneliness and sometimes the occasional envy that grips us, and for some there's shame. But I hope you all will see what I see: the tons of lessons that singleness brings and the ways it can grow you. So welcome to my singleness series and I hope you learn and laugh along with me...or at me. It's cool.
You can't like someone just because they have pretty eyes
I remember my first real crush happened when I was in about 5th or 6th grade. Sure, I liked boys before then, but I mean really, really liking someone. He was a boy who went to my church. I'm not even sure where he is right now. But I do remember liking him because he had the prettiest eyes. He was so cute I really couldn't care less that he clearly wasn't good company for me, I just thought he was straight up perfect. Let's not kid ourselves, we're all suckers for that really cute guy that we think is out of our league. Now that I think about it, I don’t remember having any conversations with this boy. I barely even talked to him. My friends and his friends would tease me that I liked him and I couldn't muster the courage to string together a sentence to say to him. I had a good reason though. My mom had me wearing some ugly skirt suits with stockings and open toe heels. White stockings....smh....white stockings.
And sometimes I still feel like that girl in white stockings and ugly clothes who still can't string a word together in front of a guy and would much prefer to stick my nose in a book. But, puberty happened and then the glow up and now I'm not an awkward looking girl who would rather stick her nose in a book than talk to a guy I like, I'm an awkward thinking girl who would rather read a book than talk to a guy I like.
Physical Attraction is important, don't get me wrong. Who wants to cringe every time you think of hugging, kissing or sleeping with that person? But physical attraction is so subjective, it can change over time as we grow to know someone and it's certainly not the most important factor in choosing someone to start a relationship with. I've met tons of good looking guys that when I got to know them, I realized they make me sick. And I've met people that I've been like "ehhh he's ok, he's not my type" and as I've gotten to know him, I'm asking, "when did he become so fine?"
He didn't change, the way I looked at him did. Because my perspective changed.
So long story short. Don't be fooled ladies. All that glitters isn't gold.
1 Samuel 16:7
But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."