One of my greatest temptations is wanting to control my own life. I like knowing what’s the plan and working towards it. It’s hard for me when I can’t see what’s my next step. I’m ok that God was the architect of the house of my life, but now I want sole autonomy in the interior design and décor. Sure, God allows us to make choices in our lives. But how many times do we put him first in our choices? Or do our choices revolve around our crave for worldly ideas of success, our crave for companionship, for acceptance, for attention, etc.? How many life decisions have we made that had nothing to do with bringing God glory, but instead making a name for ourselves? But then of course, we say, “well after I get successful, rich, or famous, then I’ll make it about God.”
The reality is that God always reads our hearts, even when our actions look very noble to the public. Let’s make sure that when we say Lord, it’s because we have allowed him to be Lord over everything in our lives. The architect, interior designer, and decorator of our lives. Every desire, every endeavor, examined through his word and prayer. I know this may seem radical, because it goes against our very nature. Our sinful nature longs to be the captain of our own ship, master of our own fate, our sinful nature longs to do it our way. “There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end, it leads to death.”- Proverbs 16:25.
During this time, I have often been asking the Lord to show me areas in my life that I am still fighting for control. I have often found that it shows up in my restlessness and indecisiveness about important life decisions. So, I pray that you won’t feel alone, because I don’t have it all together either. Perhaps we can both pray today and every day, “not my will, but thine be done Lord.”