When sex has become so cheapened in today’s society, it’s no surprise that the stats surrounding pornography usage is so high, even in the church. We have to talk about it, because contrary to popular belief, pornography is not just a man’s issue, but women are watching too at rising rates. Not just preachers are speaking against pornography, but Tedtalk speakers, and even celebrities.
Here’s some reasons that we need to think twice about our pornography consumption. Other than the obvious scriptures against it. (Matt 5:28, 1 Cor 6:18-20, Psalm 119:37)
1. It’s not real sex- It robs people of what real sex could be. It shapes our sexual desires, with an interaction that is completely staged, devoid of love, devoid of commitment, devoid of reality.
2. It weakens our capacity for true intimacy and true pleasure. - Why work at romance and intimacy with a real partner, when you can just click your way to sexual pleasure? What does this do to the way our brains think of people when they become indispensable to us virtually and sexually? Also, if you are married and watching pornography, you have brought a 3rd party into your marriage, which weakens your capacity for intimacy and pleasure with your spouse. Don’t let the enemy fool you that it’s a great idea to watch porn together to spice up your marriage.
3. Life was meant to be unselfishly lived. Porn teaches us the opposite. It teaches us how WE can obtain pleasure, not on how we can give pleasure. Pleasure in porn comes at all costs, even if that is in a demeaning way for our partners.
4. It is a pacifier for loneliness- You can suck on it all day long, but you will not be getting real food from it. Porn does not cure loneliness.
5. It fuels sex trafficking by creating the demand for workers to fulfill sexual fantasies seen on these websites.
6. It supports rape culture. Tired of hearing “boys will be boys”? Yeah, well statistically little boys are the ones consuming porn the heaviest, feeding themselves on unrealistic and downright disgusting content and then pressuring their peers to act out their fantasies.
7. It creates self-esteem issues for both men and women. Men watch porn and wonder why they are aren’t bigger, more masculine, etc. Women watch it and wonder how they can have bigger breasts and butts, and smaller stomachs to please their partners. All around, it does no good for people’s self-esteem.
There is freedom from pornography!
1. Confession- confession means that I’m going to say what God says about this. That it’s wrong, and it needs to stop.
2. Repentance- This means I’m going to turn away from this sin. No more excuses, no more justifications, I am going to walk away from this mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually.
3. Accountability- If you are severely addicted, or even mildly addicted, walking away is going to be HARD! You’re going to need trusted people in your life, preferably your spouse and/or someone that is spiritually stronger than you in this area. You’ll need someone not afraid to ask you tough questions like: when’s the last time you watched pornography? How long? What devices? You’ll need to be humble and honest. Honest with the questions they ask and humble enough to see that you couldn’t escape this on your own, so content blockers will be necessary and someone else will need to have the passwords to the restrictions on your phone.
4. Endurance- Depending of the severity of your addiction, you may stumble some more times in your journey of being porn-free. Be patient with yourself, but be firm in your resolve to get up and walk free another day, week, month, or year.